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Gradual understanding of "what I really need" came over the years, but it did not come alone, it also brought a disregard to what I need too. As the result I get an endless slew of life lessons, that I don't really learn from.
In practice, those that I should avoid at all costs brings the fire into my eyes and goose bumps on my neck, yet those that truly desirable don't smell like a muse, not at all. And what is really was obvious in the last few days is that I don't come across of either kind, while the ones I do meet are not magnetizing at all.
The rest of the thought I'd better keep to myself.